You get a lot of unsolicited advice as soon as people catch wind that you are pregnant. You learn pretty quickly how to grin and bear it, knowing that most people mean well and are trying to be helpful. Yet, there are some things that should just be off limits as topics of discussion with pregnant women. There are really way more than we can ever mention, but here are 10 things not to say to a pregnant woman.
You’re so big/You’re so tiny. You have no idea what’s going on with a pregnant woman’s body or why she is her current size or how she feels about it. There is only one way to remark on a pregnant woman’s appearance, and that is to say she looks great.
Was it planned? This is no one’s business. If the parents feel like sharing, they will.
I hated being pregnant. Yes, we all kind of relish in commiserating with one another, but when another mama is still in the throws of discomfort, it’s better to be encouraging than discouraging. Save your tales of woe for when you can both share them over a glass of wine after those nine months are over. Plus, there are plenty of women who love being pregnant.
You’re going to name him that? Or any other version of questionable commentary on the parents’ chosen name for their baby. They will never forget how you really feel about the baby’s name, so please keep it to yourself.
Let me tell you about my horrifying delivery. Really?! Okay, I get the bonding that occurs over shared delivery stories—good and bad—but please wait until that baby is born. No mama needs to hear a scary delivery story prior to giving birth. Build her confidence. Tell her she can do it like the millions who have done it before her.
Aww, were you hoping for a ____? Said after hearing the couple is expecting another baby the same sex as their other(s). What are you trying to accomplish with this question? Either the couple didn’t care or you could be throwing salt in their wounds. Don’t take the chance!
Wow, that’s going to be a big family! Parents who have more than the proverbial 2.5 kids typical in the US can get bombarded with comments about their large family. Don’t add to it. Chances are they created their big family intentionally and with joy.
Your life is over as you know it. Okay, so it is true that everything changes when a baby joins your family, but can’t we approach this change with joy and not grief?
It’s about time! So many couples are dealing with private fertility issues. They don’t need any reminding of the longer than normal journey that it took them to conceive.
Are you sure you’re ready? It’s too late folks. The only choice is to get onboard and be supportive.
I’m sure we missed some real zingers that you’ve heard, so please add to our list using the comments below!